Society of the Vav

Be a Vavnik, harnessing your transformational power of connection, creating change for the good of all

Making a Friend of Time: A life long learning pilgrimage filled with Mystery

TZiPi, The Vavnik rebbe   at Watering the Tree Outside the Fence Foundation

Make a friend of time. A Lakota Medicine man spoke these words to me in 1993.  The energy of the words pierced the armor of my heart. I began to weep and then deep sobs came from my body. I had a sense these words were important and not just for me. I was on a mission of discovery to connect with time.

Several months later my daughter came to visit and asked me why the bedroom, living-room and car clocks were all different times. I tired to defend my actions and gave up and changed all the clocks to the same time. Her comment awoke me to the relationship of truth and time. And I asked my self, how honest am I with my self & with my friends around time?


I began listening to when ’time’ was used.  I practiced saying ‘end date’ instead of ‘dead line’. I thought of my childhood where I learned my cultural messages around time. I remembered my father raising his voice in anger when he thought we would be late or my mother who insisted on always being early. I still struggle with angst around being at a certain place at a certain time. I became more aware of my rushing when my favorite mug fell out of my hand as I hurried to leave the house.  And I decided that when I drove I had to be in the moment not somewhere else after I pulled into traffic speeding to a meeting and had my front end torn off.


Through my mindfulness and meditation practice I became more comfortable with just being where ever I was. I practiced singing when I thought I was going to be late for an appointment. And I was on time. Now I laugh and breathe more deeply to ease the flow of me in time. In working on my friendship with time, I found being Here can be OK! And I continue to explore the mystery of time and me.


Try these to help you make a friend of time:

  1. Set an intention – deep desire of your heart- to make a friend of time.
  2. Laugh with your Self and say ‘gotcha!” when you notice you have negative thoughts about time, like: ‘I will be late!’, ‘He will kill me!’, ‘Late again!’, ‘I hate time!’ You cannot stop anything without noticing you are doing it.
  3. Breathe deep belly breaths and open your mind to possibilities; what else could you be thinking? or what would you be without that ‘dead line’ thought?
  4. Keep time close, like a good friend and see if you can tell time without looking.
  5. Try laughing when the mind rushes away from HERE; then come back smiling, saying HERE, this is the only place I need to be. And breathe.

Join the Rolling Stones singing “Time Is On My Side’. And hear Scarlett Johansson in the film Lucy saying: “Time is the only true unit of measure. It gives proof to the existence of matter. Without time, we don’t exist.

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